Dwyer & Michaels :: 2Dorks.com

Top 5 Crazy Turkey Attacks Could Make You Rethink Thanksgiving

I'm fine with turkey once it's on a plate with some cranberry sauce and a side of stuffing,
but actual living, breathing turkeys? They freak me out. What, they don't give you the creeps?
Just look at the feathered monstrosities, with their excess of wrinkly skin and those disturbing
red waddles! Turkeys are, without a doubt, one of the ugliest creatures to roam the earth.

And perhaps one of the nastiest! The number of turkey attacks (yes, turkey attacks) in the news
lately only confirms the knee-jerk reaction I've had to these beasts since I was a kid: RUN!!

Don't believe me? Just check out these horrifying videos. Never again will you ask yourself, "Why
did they eat turkey at the first Thanksgiving?"

Clearly the pilgrims killed the turkeys in self-defense. (And, you know, since the birds were already
dead meat ... might as well roast those suckers.)

This video is particularly terrifying because children are involved. (Who are really asking
for trouble, playing matador with the turkey, but still.)

My heart goes out to the poor, turkey-terrorized reporter who shot this video. She didn't
even do anything to provoke the animal! Oh god, this is going to turn into one of my
recurring nightmares ...

Now this turkey, THIS turkey ... he's gotta be some kind of grand poobah or something. Not
only is he all puffed up with poultry pride, he's gutsy enough to go after a guy on a bike!

Then there's this turkey, who clearly has no respect for authority. Breakin' the law,
breakin' the law ...

Of course we can't leave out this oldie but goodie: Who can forget the turkey who attacked
then-President Bush? Pardon me? Pardon you, Dubya!