ONE DRINK:

Anytime Dalton refuses to use a gun

Anytime there's a naked chick

Anytime Dalton practices his karate in front of his barn

Anytime Dalton puts a white cassette into his car stereo

Anytime you see Dalton's Mercedes... which he can inexplicably afford on a bouncer's salary

Anytime Dalton runs towards a fire

Anytime Jeff Healey delivers a line horribly

Anytime a character with a mullet speaks (once per character)

Any fight

Anytime Swayze sits on the roof of his barn contemplating life

Anytime anyone says "You're smaller than I thought you'd be"

Anytime the bad guy has a pool party

Anytime one of the goons wears a polo shirt

Anytime anyone gets their ass kicked with a pool cue

Anytime a car, house, or building explodes

Anytime Dalton's degree in Philosophy is mentioned

Anytime a knife comes out of a boot

Anytime the main bad guy wears a pink bathrobe

Anytime someone refers to Dalton as "The best"

Anytime Sam Elliot shows his pubic hair

SHOT:

Dalton rips out someones throat

Anytime some A-hole throws a bottle at the blind guy

Anytime Sam Elliot refers to the Double Deuce as the "Double Douche"

When Tinker says"A polar bear fell on me"

Anytime a monster truck smashes through a building