From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster
Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has
been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy
you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy
it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.
This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name
Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on
Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your
email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding
up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking
about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying
on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling
out "Shannon, where are you?"
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon,
I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate
the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster
yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried
about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party,
I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive
G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so
badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my
toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my
place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling
in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven,
spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt,
and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat
down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed
and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug
and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting
in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving
Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants.
I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a
movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely
emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to
think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix
the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have
assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise,
we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs
and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and
look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas
due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting
to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped
in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down
a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows
the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says
missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
Poster
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
Re: Poster
yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the
word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was
lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid.
I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you.
Thanks.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww
Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for
a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained
the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard
box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something
and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after
her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat,
I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently
I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect
it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes
on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed
instructions.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww
Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat
is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday
21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww
I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any
one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better
cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen
your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind
legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline
and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed
after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little
buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for
all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote
control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and
enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive
it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Please just use the photo I gave you.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What
did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect
can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have
to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of
it.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww
Fine. That will have to do. |
