The Worst Christmas Album Covers

 

They say the record is free, but having to eat at a Waffle house is a high price to pay!	What else could the guy possibly want? He's got $6 Million of Uncle Sam's money already! And is he dis-robing in the back??
The Mom (singular) and Dads (plural)? They were polygamists before polygamy was cool! Which Santa was Mommy kissing?	Nothing says Christmas like a German albino who appears to be giving us the finger! Give me Johnny Winter any day!
This guy's only crime is trying to be too mass-appeal. Let's see, Jews, check; Catholics, check... what about the cross-dressing Jewish-Catholics? Yep!	...where the note, "don't open until December 25th" really doesn't carry much weight. And why is Santa getting the chair, anyway? That's a sure-fire way to guarantee coal next year!
What do you get the turd who has everything? His own Christmas album!! Featured songs, "The 12 S***s of Christmas", "Oh, Holy S***!", "Silent but Deadly Nigh"... you get the idea!	This album idea was so bad no self-respecting Mall Santa would pose for it, so they stole the old lady puppet from Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, stuck a hat on her and told her, "give us your best pedophile kiss."
Wait... this is a guy?! I need to scrub my eyes!	Beth likes cats...
Not quite as hardcore as the Death Row Christmas, but the anal rape is more frequent.	Ladies and gentlemen, here's the couch John Tesh has sex on.
Unfortunately, this album doesn't sound so good because they spent all their budget on the graphics.	In case the John Tesh record isn't romantic enough... let's put the "bush" back in Christmas! Tang, it ain't just for astronauts.
Honestly, I just bought this on Amazon due in large part to the cover...and her large parts on it! And anyone who give's Santa a lap dance is really spreading joy to all!	Santa's clearly looking at all the wooden crap his elves have spent ALL YEAR making, thinking, "Why the hell didn't I just call Lucas?"
Unless that's real snow, Bette isn't cool.	Why does turkey get all the credit around the holidays? If Sanders was fatter, he could be Santa. Dropping buckets of chicken for all the good boys and girls. I see Kate Smith sings on this... as payback for a lifetime of free fried chicken!