1977 JC Penney Catalog
 

	High fashion ahead...
	Within this solid 2 inches of style you can find your next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels.
	Also, no bathroom will be complete without this setup. There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however the best part has to be... the clothes. The clothes are fantastic.
	Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school: Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.
	Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school: This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop, who is pretending to be a pimp, that everyone knows is really an undercover cop, who is pretending to be 15.
	Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course: This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house... that is if your house happens to be a cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.
	Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere: If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.
	Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach: He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.
	How to get your ass kicked in a meeting: If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, you should be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.
	How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day: Dear god in heaven,there is no way that color even exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
	In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys. As does your search for chest hair.
	And this – Seriously. No words. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.
	Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These two couples look happy, don't they?
	I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."
	And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."
	Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:
	It goes on and on but we don't want you to strain your eyes so we leave you with these tasteful little numbers: That's hot...